Jaina's Journal Series (Part II)
by obi's girl
Summary: The continuing saga of Jaina & Jag! (CH11-25!) If you have not R&R earlier chapters, i strongly urge you do that first before reading the new chapters!
1. No Waiting For Tomorrow (CH10)

Jaina's Journal_Entry 10 No Waiting for Tomorrow By obi's girl  
  
I was bound to leave the officer's lounge when Jag showed up; I smiled hello at him as he swept me up in his arms and kissed me. Obviously, the talk with his father went well or they broke some common ground. I kissed him back, my arms around his neck. "Hmm. That was a nice surprise. What happened?"  
  
He shrugged back, "There was screaming for a time but we came to an understanding. I'm staying, Sticks. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Jag, that's wonderful!" I cried, hugging him back. "So, what do we do now?" Jag kissed me again before letting me down from his arms though I didn't mind him holding me for a while.  
  
"I really don't know; there's the Vong but I'd really like to focus on us."  
  
I smiled back, settling down in a chair as he pulled up another. It was strange. When I first met him, he was always stoic and quiet but now, he was different. I pulled him out his shell and made him realize his humanity, and that he actually could have a sense of humor and smile every once in awhile. I did that.  
  
"Actually, about us - I did some thinking while you were talking with your dad. About your proposal, I thought about it and one thing always came to mind, there are no definites, no tomorrow. We don't know what's going to happen months from now, or if we'll even survive sanity." I paused, smiling at him again, "So, I guess what I'm trying to say is 'Yes.' Yes."  
  
Jag leaned forward and kissed me as I removed the chain from my neck and opened the clasp, slipping off the ring. He took it in his hand and smiled, sliding it on my finger. He kissed me again, taking in my last words. "You're right, Sticks. We can't wait for tomorrow or what the next few months will bring."  
  
"Now, all we have to do is tell my family, and your Uncle. How do ya think they'll react?" He shrugged as I stood up from the chair and sat in his lap. "I don't know, but however it turns out, it doesn't matter as long you're here in my life."  
  
I laughed, kissing his cheek, whispering, "That better not be the cocky pilot in you, otherwise I would be furious."  
  
"It isn't. It's the human side of me, the human side you brought in me." Jag smiled, staring at me and grinned, "You did. Before I met you, I was impassive all the time with the exception of my boldness."  
  
I smiled, remembering our first meeting. His eyes raked me over which caused me to blush partially. "I remember, but remember this, you were born human Jagged Fel even though you were raised Chiss. It was always in you; I just awakened it."  
  
"True, but you made me realize some things about my life. Things that were missing, and to never say no to a challenge."  
  
"Hmm, but sometimes it is a good idea to..." I mused, remembering Corran's confrontation with Deign Ling.  
  
Jag frowned, noticing my contemplation. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring back bad memories."  
  
I nodded, kissing his cheek again. "It wasn't you. I was just remembering an old friend of my Uncles'. Corran Horn. Heard of him?"  
  
"Unfortunately, yes. Those politicians, they didn't see what he was trying do. All they saw was that he guaranteed the destruction of a planet. What about the people that was evacuated? He saved them."  
  
"I know, but it's politicians like Borsk Fey'lya that refuse to see things for what they really are.... No, you know what? I don't want to talk about politics. This is our moment. It shouldn't be shared with those guys."  
  
Jag smiled again and as he was about to kiss me again, his COMlink interrupted us; mine included. We both moaned, as he pulled his, scowling partly. "Colonel Fel, reporting."  
  
~Jag, it's Gavin Darklighter? Is Lieutenant Solo with you? ~ I laughed, snatching the COM link from him. "Very funny, Colonel. What is it?"  
  
~Just a guess, Sticks. Since you're both together, could the two of you come down to the briefing room? We're going to work out alternate patrols. ~  
  
I glanced at Jag but he only shrugged, unsure what Gavin had planned. "Of course. We'll be down there right away." I concluded, handing Jag his COMlink as he attached it back on his belt. "Duty calls, again."  
  
"Both of us?"  
  
I shrugged, standing from the table. "Maybe it's a crossover; Chiss and Rogue Squadron working together." I took Jag's arm as we both walked out of the lounge, missing a silent Zekk in the shadows, watching us leave.  
  
**  
  
Jacen! What was my brother doing here? He wasn't military. Jag saw my worry and shrugged, let go of my arm and walked over to Wedge and Gavin. I nudged Jacen but he only shrugged as I glanced at Gavin, Wedge and Jag. Jag nodded to his Uncle, understanding the plan before the three of them were ready to begin. "Baron Fel talked with Counselor Fey'lya, regarding our resources and he came to a decision." Gavin stared, nodding to Jag.  
  
The younger man didn't say anything, except remain impassive as always. You can take the human out a Chiss, but you can't take the Chiss out of a human.  
  
"He proposed we make the Squadron a mixed Squadron; the Chiss will be working with us full time now. Jag will coordinate runs and sims, but that's not all." He raised a finger and gestured for Jacen to step forward. "Jacen Solo has volunteered to assist us."  
  
I frowned, grinding my teeth. I knew Jacen hadn't been using the Force lately, and had fallen behind but working for military full time? Jace saw my panic and lowered his profile. I raised my hand, biting my lip. "Sorry Colonel, but can I say something?"  
  
Don't lose it, Jaina. Don't lose it. Jacen warned.  
  
"Speaking as your sister, Jacen, why are you doing this? Uncle Luke needs you; or dad does. The point, I don't need a baby-sitter watching my back."  
  
He nodded, retorting, "This isn't about you. It's about me, and I won't get in your way so don't worry about it."  
  
Jag stepped up, anxious to move things along and prevent a sibling argument. "We'll work sims first in pairs; top shot pilots against rookies, then we'll mix things around." He lowered his voice, gazing at me. "Sticks, can I talk to you in private?"  
  
I huffed as several of my squad mates "Ooo'd.' I rolled my eyes; it was cute before but now it was annoying. Gavin and Wedge took care of the rest as I talked to Jag in private. "What is it?"  
  
"I'm putting you up last for sims...." I was about to rebuke but allowed him to continue.  
  
"You're really good; the best pilot in the squadron and that's why I need your help here. And one more thing - don't give your brother a hard time. No matter what you think, he isn't here to keep an eye on you. Keep focused."  
  
"All right. So if I'm going last, what will I do until then?"  
  
He shrugged, smiling cockeyed. "I could use some help judging the pilots. Care to join me?"  
  
I blushed, glancing at Gavin and Wedge then looked back at Jag. "You got it, but I have to warn you, I can get brutal sometimes."  
  
Jag swayed his head, countering, "So can I." 


	2. Intervention (CH11)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry 11**

**Intervention**

**By obi's girl **

**The whole time I spent, critiquing and advising Jag I couldn't stop thinking about my brother and his path as a Jedi Knight. It worried me, as I was sure it worried my Uncle. That was another thing. Did Luke know Jacen was on Coruscant and a new member of the Rogue Squadron? I bit my lip, lost in thought as two pilots crawled into the simulator. Jag saw me and waved the two pilots down, calling break. "Hey Sticks, what's going on in that head of yours?" **

**I shrugged back, smiling a bit, "My brother. And what's going on with him he would give up being a Jedi altogether." **

**Jag raised an eyebrow and placed a comforting arm around my shoulder. "And you weren't thinking of doing the same thing?" **

**"I was but this is different. I'm still going to use the Force when I fly to help others but he's shutting himself off completely." I huffed, scanning around for Jacen but didn't see him. He was probably around somewhere else. **

"Go and look for him. I can handle things here by myself. My Uncle and Gavin are up in their office; I can call them down to help judge the pilots. Look for your brother." 

**I smiled, leaned over and kissed them and head out. **

******

**I found Jacen alone in the lounge, staring at the many stars. He was quiet, reserved (completely different than how he was an hour ago). His tone earlier when I talked to him; he seemed edgy, almost irritated. I huffed, walking near, brushing some loose hairs away from my face. Jacen nodded, causing me to freeze in place. He knew I was there and obviously didn't feel like talking but I did. What was happening to him scared me. "Jacen, I know you don't want to talk to me..." **

**"It isn't you, Jaina. It's me." He smiled over at me and continued, "I'm still debating on the balance point between using the Force as an alley and when it becomes aggression." **

**I shrugged, nodding to the many stars. "Have you talked to Uncle Luke?" **

**"We talked briefly, only it more like a debate than talking." **

**I smiled slightly, "Much like when you and Anakin talk." Jacen turned to me and sat down, taking a sip from some caf he got for himself. I sat down across from him and smiled, shrugging a bit. "So, why are you here?" **

**Jacen gazed up and leaned back some on the chair. "Figure I could learn from you; what's it like to rely on others instead of relying on the Force, like normal Jedi." **

**"Except I do rely on the Force, Jacen just not as much as you or Anakin do. I'm a pilot; I have to trust my instincts. Look beyond the moment and figure situations with possible solutions." I paused, playing with some loose strands of hair, "It's times like this you kinda wish we had Jedi from the Old Order around to guide us, huh?" **

**He laughed, smirking some. "I guess it would be interesting to know Master Yoda's view on what I'm doing." **

**I frowned, stopped playing with my hair and looked at my brother. "Jacen, you're a Jedi. It's in our blood to be what we are, even if we don't use the Force but you're right. There is a limit, a borderline between what's right and what's wrong." **

**"I just wish I knew what that borderline was, Jaina." He paused, trying to think of a metaphor. "It's like when you're flying; you don't use scopes unless you have to. Me, I don't have a scope to guide me." **

I shrugged, "Then use the second best thing: your conscious. But I never use scopes; they're too cumbersome." He laughed, looking once again at the stars. I stared at him and smiled 'cause whatever the outcome of the war, things were definitely going to change...and that necessarily wasn't a bad thing. 

**NEXT**


	3. Lover's Walk (CH12)

Jaina's Journal_Entry #12 Lover's Walk  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Summary: This is the big one people. Zekk tells Jaina's the three words she doesn't want to hear from him and why he came back, besides to fight the Vong. And more!  
  
After Jacen and I sat talking for about half an hour, he left me alone to my thoughts. I didn't tell him about Jag's proposal, or that I accepted. Now wasn't the time for that. If I was going to tell, I wanted everyone to be there. I fingered the ring on my chain and smiled, looking at the two stick figures on it.  
  
Forever.  
  
That used to be a bad thing, when I was younger. Zekk had caused me so much heartache but not anymore. Jag was different and this time, things would be different. I knew they would. They had to be. I dropped the ring, faintly hearing someone enter the lounge. I started for my sabre but then remembered the 'no weapons' in the lounge for safety purposes and eased up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Zekk stepped out from the darkness, causing me to scowl and release my hand from my sabre. I rolled my eyes, ignoring him completely as I did before but it didn't work. He didn't leave. He just stood there, looking at the many stars.  
  
I turned to him, a bit more than irritated, "I'm sorry, but is there a reason you decided to annoy me again when I pointedly told you before to leave me alone? Or are you just deaf?"  
  
He shrugged, "I need to talk to you, Jaina. It's about why I came back..."  
  
I rolled my eyes, abruptly standing up and turning to leave. "Whatever you have to say, Zekk, I don't want to hear it. You had your chance to explain why you left before you actually left."  
  
"I didn't tell you because I didn't know what I was going to do; or end up."  
  
I laughed, brushing my hair away from my face. "And now you want a clean slate? Forget it. Forget us, because there is no 'us.' You decided that when you left me, and cut me out of your life!"  
  
Zekk shrugged, crossing his arms. "I accept that. But you still deserve to know why I came back, now and I have to warn you, the Vong aren't the only reason. That was coincidental."  
  
"I can't believe this! You're going to tell me you decided to show out of nowhere because you want to start over? Sorry Zekk, but you're a couple years late, and if you haven't noticed I've found someone."  
  
"I noticed, and I accept that. I didn't expect you to wait around for me to show up one day." He mused, glancing up at me.  
  
Why did we have to get into this now? Why did he have to come back now? I did wait for him but the longer I waited, the less hope I had he would come back. But I wasn't about to admit that to him. "I have to go, now." And started for the door, but three words escaped his mouth I thought I'd never hear and it stung my heart.  
  
I love you.  
  
I turned back to him and scowled, nodding furiously, "You DID NOT just say that to me?!"  
  
He nodded yes, and I threw up my arms, wanting to pull out my hair. Correction, pull out his hair and smack some sort of bondage on his mouth. "Why are doing this to me Zekk? I have a life. I'm in love with someone else, and yes that someone else is Jag; not you."  
  
"Jaina, I can't stop this feeling inside of me. I love you."  
  
"Sithspawn Zekk! I don't love you." I paused, grinding my teeth. "Take it back. Take it back, NOW!"  
  
He nodded no, walking closer to me though I backed up some. I didn't want him touching me or anywhere near me. "Jaina, it's the truth. I love you." He whispered.  
  
I raised my hands and put them over my ears, trying to block him out. I couldn't deal with this right now. "STOP IT! Stop it, Zekk! Take it back!"  
  
"I'm not taking it back, Jaina." I rolled my eyes and removed my hands from my ears, glaring back at him. Zekk leaned on his right foot as he continued, "I came back because of you. I thought maybe we could..."  
  
"What? Be together and start all over? I told you. You're a bit late for that." I cried, my voice wavering. "Jag and I...I love him and we're engaged." There. That had to have hurt some.  
  
Zekk's face was indifferent but I knew despite this, he was thinking; thinking of a way to rebuke what I said.  
  
Only, I hadn't anticipated what he would do next. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I pushed him away, disgusted he would go this far. He wiped my mouth, glaring back at with disbelief. "Well, now you have two things to take back, now don't you?" I spat.  
  
I wiped my mouth some more before abruptly walking out on him, stumbling over Jag who had come to look for me. Sithspawn! "Jag, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to look for you. Jacen came back. He said you wanted to be alone but I thought I'd stop by and surprise you." He smiled. I rolled my eyes, still feeling Zekk's lips on mine. I pulled Jag into a passionate kiss. His arms snaked around my back as Zekk left the lounge unnoticed. He stopped briefly and looked back at us but I waved him away, and he left. I let go of Jag and smiled.  
  
He smiled back at me, arms still around my back. "Well, that was a nice hello."  
  
I cleared my throat, smiling mischievously, "We aren't needed right now are we? Cause I was thinking we could be alone for a few moments." And to help me get my mind of Zekk. I didn't need his emotions right now. I didn't want him back in my life, and telling me 'I love you'. It was too late for us, but even that wasn't going to convince him. I knew that.  
  
"I could spare some minutes. Something bothering you?"  
  
I frowned, nodding back to the lounge. We walked in and sat down on one of the corner couches. "I just want to sit here with you in silence. So much has been going on..."  
  
He kissed my head and smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I understand." I snuggled his neck, my mind racing. What was I going to do about Zekk? And if he ever confronted Jag? No! That couldn't happen. I couldn't lose Jag. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wasn't about to lose him. I couldn't.  
  
**  
  
Jacen Solo sat solemnly at the table, oblivious to the many pilots exiting the sim and entering. His conversation with his sister earlier made him think about some things. Theoretically, he wasn't evil by nature. And he had never done anything to harm or hurt anyone. He saved Danni Quee from the Vong, and she was grateful to him for that. A smile twitched his lips, thinking about the young doctor. Danni Quee. She was beautiful and talented in the Force, something she never knew until the Vong surfaced. His smile grew even wider, remembering the time after he rescued her.  
  
~~Leaving him [Jacen] feel quite naked, and leaving him, as Danni likewise released her mask and cloaker, wearing no more than a tiny loose-fitting shift. Above the level of tension, Jacen noted that his companion's shoulders bobbed with sobs.  
  
"We're out now," he said to her softly, and then he looked at her, really, looked at her, and nearly lost his breath at the beauty he saw there. In truth, Danni was a mess, with bruises on her face and her curly blonde hair matted and ragged. But Jacen didn't see any of that as he looked hard and for the first time into her green eyes, into the pain he saw there, both vulnerability and inner strength, as he stared into her mind and her spirit, remembering that she, and not Miko Reglia, had been the one to put out the telepathic call, though she was not a Jedi Knight.  
  
She could be, Jacen realized then and there, and a great one at that.  
  
He was conscious, too, of the press of their scantily clothed bodies together with the confines of the small stylus ship.  
  
"You're safe now," he said, his voice barely a whisper, and he worked his hand up from his side, take care as to where it brushed then brought his fingers gently against Danni's cheek.  
  
"Miko," the woman said quietly.  
  
Jacen nodded that he understood---about Miko and about the ordeal this woman had apparently suffered on that cold planet. He dared to bring his hand around the back of her head, his fingers sliding into her thick stock of hair, and he pulled her close.  
  
Danni didn't resist. She buried her face in Jacen's strong shoulder and allowed the tears to flow. ~~  
  
Though she was special, she was afraid of the power inside of her and was unsure of her path. She had experienced fear first hand under the Vong, and the fear of other people while on Duro. Before he left Yavin, he talked to Danni one last time. They laughed and shared meaningful words of wisdom. He even hugged her and smelled her hair. How sweet she smelled. He didn't want to let her go. Jacen wanted to stay in her arms forever and tell her all the things he had kept hidden and safe. She smiled, letting go and kissed his cheek for luck then he left Yavin and her.  
  
But oh, that moment would stay with him forever. The way she looked; blonde hair flowing around her shoulders. Her sweet green eyes and innocent face. He still dreamed about her; and the more he dreamed the more he wished he could experience the real thing. Dreamed of the day, some day, she would return his feelings and experience that first kiss. What the Force had install for Jacen and Danni, he didn't know but he certainly hoped she was in his future somewhere.  
  
**  
  
Zekk walked somberly through the Squadron apartments, trying to piece together his feelings. He just told Jaina he loved her and she rebuffed him. She even went as far as to tell him she was engaged to Jagged Fel but he knew that was impossible, or was it? No, it was impossible. He knew she loved him but engaged? She probably just said that to hurt him, make him realize there was no future. There was no point in going back. But Zekk didn't think like that; he didn't believe that.  
  
He couldn't just walk away from Jaina. He refused to hurt her another time. She was the reason he came back; he didn't want her to hurt any more than she should. She didn't deserve that, and no matter what, he was going to fight for her. He was going to fight Jagged Fel for her, and he was going to win. He had to win; there was no other option. He stopped, glancing at the door he stopped in front of her. The plaque read Lieutenant Jaina Solo, and there was a small COM pad on the side of the door for messages in case she wasn't in. Zekk looked around for anyone then knelt down and typed in a message:  
  
Dear Jaina,  
  
I know you said you didn't want me back, and that you don't want me here at all but I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you ever again. I'm going to fight for you. I meant what I said in the lounge. I love you, I really do and I'm not giving up on us even though you have, a long time ago.  
  
Jaina, the years I was gone and lost, you were the one constant in my life. Whenever there was darkness, you were my light. I didn't know where I was going but I did know, no matter what, as long I saw your face in my dreams I was safe.  
  
I want to be safe again, Jaina. I want to see your face and see you smile again. I want you. Come back to me and forget everything. I love you, Jaina. I will always love you.  
  
~~ Zekk ~~  
  
TBC 


	4. Complications (CH13)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_13**

**"Complications" **

**By obi's girl**

**The moments I stayed with Jag in the lounge, my mind couldn't stop thinking about what I was going to do about Zekk. He told me he loved me and I angrily demanded he take it back but refused to. I couldn't deal with this. One man was enough for me, why did Zekk have to come back into my life? It wasn't fair. None of this was this fair. And I knew he didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. He'd probably stick around as long as possible, his eyes on every minute...**

**Years earlier, I would have been happy to have back. He was the love of my life, but that title now belonged to Jag. It will always belong to him in my opinion. Complications. Jagged Fel, current love, leader of the Chiss Squadron, excellent pilot, really sweet, handsome. Zekk, former love, Jedi Knight, shunned me out of his life, constantly pushed me away and picked up the pieces whenever convenient. Zekk - stubborn, persistent, annoying, a shadow, mysterious. **

**You would think it's a no brainier but it's a lot more complicated than that. With one **

**complication, there's another right around the corner. Jag smiled and kissed my forehead, causing me to look at him and smile. "Hey, where were you?" **

**I frowned, shrugging, "What do you mean?" **

**"I mean just now. You seemed a bit distracted. Is something wrong?" **

**I huffed, pushing my feelings out of my mind. "I just have a lot on my mind. Nothing big. **

**Nothing you need to worry about." **

**Jag leaned forward and took my left hand in his and smiled, "You know, if anything is wrong, you can tell me about it." **

**I smiled hopefully, "I know I can, Jag but this is something I have to deal with on my own, without your interference." I kissed his cheek, my arms wrapping around his neck. **

**"Wish I could help, Sticks, but just remember what I said. You can always talk to me; whatever the problem we can work it out together." **

**I brushed a hair away from his face and smirked, "I know, and thank you. I am so lucky to have you." I kissed his cheek as once again, my COM buzzed. I frowned, picking it up, **

**"Yes?" **

**~~Sticks? Where are you? Jag said he would return with you as soon as he found you. ~~ **

**I recognized that voice; it didn't belong to Wedge or Gavin; some one else but with great authority. I glanced over at Jag and he shrugged. I cleared my throat, "Sir, sorry, who is this?" **

**The man chuckled a bit before answering, ~~Get down here, Sticks and bring Colonel Fel with you, if he's there. ~~**

**I glanced one more time at Jag before we both stood up and left the lounge. **

******

**After all that had happened, I wasn't ready for another surprise. Zekk's proclaiming he loved me just about soured my mood for anything else. Jag, however didn't see Zekk in the lounge before he saw me which was a comfort. Zekk seemed to move about in shadows; I never really knew when he was around until he made his presence known --- and most of the time I didn't even want him around. But one thing was for sure - if I saw Zekk again, I was going to loose it. **

**Jag glanced at me and smiled, as we both entered the simulation room. Wedge and Gavin were standing by the same table Jag and I sat at to evaluate pilots. I didn't see Jacen anywhere, which meant maybe he took my advice and returned to Yavin or just decided to be scarce. Both men dismissed the pilots as we neared the table; this time there was a third man standing in the back and it wasn't the Baron. I really didn't like this. **

**"Something wrong, Uncle?" Jag mused, as I shyly stood back and huffed. **

**Wedge nodded, gesturing the mystery man come forward, "Jag, this is Tycho Celchu." He turned back to me, "Jacen left awhile ago to return to Yavin. Whatever you said to him, I guess changed his mind." **

**I shrugged, "I guess." Now if I could only get Zekk to change his mind that would be a miracle! "Are you staying long?" My question wad directed towards Celchu. **

**"I don't know." He turned back to Wedge and the Corellian nodded, "Awhile, and oh, congratulations for making the Squadron. It wouldn't be complete without a Skywalker in a the crew." **

**"Thanks." I mused, glancing at Jag. We left them alone, sitting on the steps on the simulator. It looked like everyone was taking a break; Chiss included although I didn't really know what Chiss did on breaks. I faced Jag again and smiled. **

**He swayed his head, leaning back some, "Hey, you okay? You seem a bit distracted, lost." **

**I nodded no, still smiling, "Remember Zekk? The Jedi you met on Yavin? He's here; he's been here awhile though I've repeatedly told him to get lost. He's refused, deciding to stick around for awhile." **

**Jag's face-hardened and I knew he was jealous, suspicious even of my connection to Zekk. **

**"Has he been bothering you?" **

**"He's stubborn; very stubborn --- I don't know what to do about him. He won't leave me alone and he's not going to leave Coruscant anytime soon." I shrugged again, leaning against him, "He's just driving me crazy! It's frustrating." **

**Fel raised his hand and rubbed his chin, "Does he know about us? I mean, does he know I ---." **

**I bit my lip, wishing I had kept my mouth shut but he drove me to say something I knew I'd regret. "He knows but I don't think he believes me. I was angry; I said it to hurt him - which did work by the way but it didn't change his mind about me." I gazed at Jag, holding his hand, "Just promise me you won't talk to him or confront him. I need to deal with this on my own." **

**"Except you've dealt with this on your own, Sticks. We're a team; if he hurts you - I want to know about it so I can back you up." **

**I smiled hopefully, "I know but right now, he's not your biggest fan." **

**Jag nodded, glancing at his Uncle, Gavin and Tycho. The Squadron, Chiss included were there - it was perfect. He grabbed my hand, forcing me to stand up after him as he cleared his throat. I was about to ask Jag what he was up too but I knew. Oh Sithspawn! Now was not the time for this, Jag. He smiled, clearing his throat as I started to shy away but he held my hand. **

**"Jag, wait! Do we have to do this now? Wouldn't you rather wait? I know I would like too. My parents, half of my family aren't here." I even raised my hand and waved it in front of him but he frowned, confused then turned his attention back to the surrounding pilots. Sithspawn! **

**"What is this, Jag?" Wedge asked, crossing his arms. **

**I scowled, really not ready for this. I already had a lot to deal with. Why now? Why couldn't he wait until later? "Jag, no really, now isn't the time." **

**Again, he bent down and kissed my cheek, smiled then continued, "I have announcement to make, regarding Lieutenant Solo and I..." Maybe if I faked a vision, or something but it was too late. "Jaina and I are engaged." **

**Mother of Sith! I am in true Hell! Everybody applauded us; Wedge stepped forward and hugged Jag, then me, smiling congratulations. By noon today, it will be all over the HoloNet and I'll be screwed. I love Jag, I do but now wasn't the proper time to announce our engagement. For one, I would rather have Zekk halfway across the galaxy, even in Vong hands - as long as he was far away from Jag and I. But it was too late, far too late. **

**"Jaina?" some one asked. I turned to Gavin and Wedge, smiling hopefully though deep down, I knew this was just the beginning to an endless spiral of chaos. **

**Weakly, I found my voice and answered, "Yes?" **

**Wedge frowned, "Sticks, you all right? You don't look so good." **

**Blame that on your nephew, Wedge! I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for any of this. I nodded, letting go of Jag, "I just need some air." Jag faced me and he could tell why I was freaked. He knew it wasn't the perfect timing to announce the engagement; but he did it anyway, probably to shove it in Zekk's face. And now it would be shoved in his face big-time (something I liked) but not like this. **

**"Jag, could we leave? I need to talk to you in private." **

**He nodded, chauffeuring me towards the door, the pilots - both Chiss and human were oblivious to us leaving except Gavin and Wedge. **

******

**I waited until we were in the turbo lift and out of sight from anyone else, to talk with Jag. I knew why he was doing this, but I wanted to hear it from Jag. I leaned against the wall of the lift, reminding myself to stay calm. "Jag, why --- I thought we agreed to announce this when the time was right?" **

**Jag stared back at me and shrugged, "And when would the timing be right, Sticks? When Zekk steals you from me before I even have the chance to make you mine?" **

**Make me his? A little possessive aren't we? Of course, I didn't except anything less. He is still human and a male and they always have to be like that. It's one of their flaws. Except I never expected it in Jag. He was perfect like that, understanding and un-emotional, well at least before he met me. "Jag, what are you trying to prove? I told you I would deal with Zekk on my terms; why can't you accept that?" **

**"I can't, Jaina. I'm sorry; I just can't. The past, the history - you two have a history, even if you haven't admitted to it I can tell. The way this guy is always around you and managed to push your buttons. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me from the beginning? Or were you hoping I wouldn't figure it out?" **

**I nodded, feeling myself angrier with him, but understanding his anger. "I didn't tell you because I wasn't expecting Zekk to show up again in my life. You knew we were close ---." **

**He waved his hand, cutting me off, "That I knew; but your feelings I didn't know. Jaina, I don't want to lose you to him. You're special to me. These feelings inside of me, I never knew they were there until I met you." **

**I nodded, pushing off the wall and took his hands in mine, "You won't lose me, Jag. You'll never lose but you have to allow me to fight my own battles. I can't always have you as my wingman - though sometimes I want you to be." I smiled, kissing his cheek, "Tell you what, if this thing with Zekk annoys the Sith out of me, you can yell at him all you want." **

**Jag laughed, hugging me tight in his arms and kissed my forehead, "I never want to lose you, Sticks. No one's been able to bring out the human side of me before. I like it." **

**"I like it too and you won't lose me." I concluded as the lift doors swooshed open to the apartments. I took Jag's hand in mine and we walked out, towards my quarters. I smiled him but quickly frowned again when I saw the message on my COM pad. It was from Zekk. Jag saw it too but didn't say anything. I gulped, reading it silently to myself. **

**Dear Jaina, **

**I know you said you didn't want me back, and that you don't want me here at all but I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you ever again. I'm going to fight for you. I meant what I said in the lounge. I love you, I really do and I'm not giving up on us even though you have, a long time ago. **

**Jaina, the years I was gone and lost, you were the one constant in my life. Whenever there was darkness, you were my light. I didn't know where I was going but I did know, no matter what, as long I saw your face in my dreams I was safe.**

**I want to be safe again, Jaina. I want to see your face and see you smile again. I want you. **

**Come back to me and forget everything. I love you, Jaina. I will always love you. **

**~~ Zekk ~~**

**I cringed, looking back at Jag. His face was stone, his eyes were glazed; I didn't have to read him through the Force to know he was upset. No, past upset - he was furious. He turned on his heel and walked down the opposite hall. I glared back at the message then hurriedly ran down after him. "Jag, wait! Jag?!" **

**He didn't even turn to face me, as he continued down the hall and entered the turbo lift and disappeared. **

******

**I erased the message, then immediately asked the computer where Zekk was located. The lounge. This had gone far enough; I wasn't going to let him ruin my relationship with Jag any further beyond repair. This has to end now! **

**NEXT**


	5. Possession (CH14)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_14**

**"Possession"**

**By obi's girl**

**Zekk smiled sensing my presence as I entered the lounge. He turned around as I stomped up to him and slapped his face, causing a dark scowl. If there was a scale for how angry I was, it had to be past deadly, tipping towards Sith-like and right now, I felt like one. How could he do this to me? He said he didn't want to hurt me but he hurt me in the worst possible way and if he expected forgiveness, obviously, Zekk didn't know me as well as he thought he had. "What in Sith is the matter with you, Zekk? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me?!" **

**He nodded, looking away, taking a sip of his caf, "You don't belong with him, Jaina. He doesn't deserve you." **

**"He does; he deserves me more than you do. A lot more and I do love him; and I meant what I said before – we are engaged." **

**Zekk huffed, facing me again, "You don't have a history; we do." **

**"True, but Jag and I can still have a future; from that we can look back and remember our past." I shouted, closing my eyes, calming my nerves though they were at the boiling point. "Zekk, there is no more us. Why don't you see that? 'Us' died when you left Yavin. Zekk, please, I'm begging you, leave. You said you didn't want to hurt me; you're hurting me now by staying here. You have to understand that." **

**He shrugged his face calmer than before. "What I don't understand is why you would even consider him as your life-long mate." **

**"Because he understands me; he's good to me. He makes me laugh; I make him laugh. We challenge each other to let the other know we care; I feel good when I'm around him. It's like the world around us doesn't matter anymore and nothing can touch us." I paused, gazing at Zekk. He remained quiet, and less tense. I was reaching him. "This feeling inside of me – I love him so much, if I let go it might kill me. I thought after you, I would never find anyone else but I have, and I am grateful for every day I have with Jag. I'm grateful because I know it might be our last. I love him, Zekk. I love him so much it hurts when I'm not near him and he doesn't hold me. I cringe inside when we fight, but I know deep down, inside both of us, we love each other." I paused, huffing, my eyes pleading with him. "Please Zekk, let me go. Let go of the past; don't hurt me anymore." **

**Zekk huffed, his hand reaching my face, caressing my cheek, and I could see tears in his eyes. "I just don't know how to let you go, Jaina. You've always been a huge part of my life; I guess I just shoved you away so many times...when I should have kept me near. But I don't want to hurt you; I would never wish you any pain. You don't deserve that." He paused, gazing up, nodding to something behind me. "I'll always hold you close to my heart, Jaina." He kissed my hand, tears falling on my hand as I let go. "I'm sorry if I intruded on your life; I never meant to hurt you – for both times." He scratched his chin and turned to leave, grabbing his flight jacket, "Good by, Jaina." And silently, he mouthed, "I love you." **

**I turned around, once I felt Zekk was gone facing Jag. He was the presence; I don't know how long he had been standing there but it wasn't enough to soften his attitude towards Zekk and I. He shrugged, walking forward and hugged me. "I'm sorry, Sticks." He cried, holding me close. **

**"You heard what I said?" **

**He nodded and kissed my forehead, "Everything. I was in the turbo lift thinking. I had no right to announce the engagement like this. We weren't ready; I was angry. The thought that some one else had their eyes on you, it scared me. For a split second, I realized I might lose you and did the only thing I could to keep you by my side. I'm sorry." **

**I laughed, kissing his cheek, "I'm sorry too; I'm sorry because we're gonna have to do that all over again but the right way." He smiled, as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, "Chances are, the Squadron didn't release the news yet. It's late and everybody's tired. It was bad timing and stupid thinking, but we can do it right this time. We don't have to rush and prove anything to anyone." I knelt down and presented him with a ring, "Jagged Fel, will you merry me?" **

**Jag knelt down and lightly touched my hand, taking the ring, "Yes." He kissed my hand (the one that my engagement ring). "Yes." I leaned over and kissed him, for the first time, feeling totally at ease and relieved. **

**NEXT**


	6. Return to Darkness (CH15)

**Jaina's ****Journal_Entry_15**

**"Return to Darkness" **

**By obi's girl **

**Disclaimer: Valis Q. Palid is my character; everything else belongs to GL. **

**Regretfully, my moment of bliss with Jag was cut short when alarms filled the Squadron hallways. Not again! I huffed, kissing Jag one last time before exiting the lounge, calling Wedge; Jag was right beside me as he also commed his Squadron. Jag and I had to cover our ears as we stood in the doorway; pilots were rushing every which way down the hall. This definitely wasn't a drill. Finally, I connected – but to Colonel Darklighter. At least I connected to somebody. "Colonel, what's happening?" **

**~~Yorik coral! One of our guys spotted them while out on patrol; we managed to decipher part of the transmission before he was vaped. ~~ He paused, talking to some one else momentarily, ~~I have to go. Get to your X-wing, and May the Force be with you. ~~ Before cutting off the transmission. **

**I glanced at Jag. He already grabbed his gun from its holster. He nodded to me; I nodded back, grabbing him into a passionate kiss before racing down the opposite hallway. **

******

**I covered my ears as I ran into the Bay, quickly boarding my X-wing. I turned abruptly, hearing a frantic voice behind me. It was a male Chiss pilot; he was about Jacen's height and probably my age. "You my wing man?" He nodded yes, boarding a craft next to me as I prepped Sparky. I smiled to myself, thinking this was Jag's doing. He wanted the best out there with me. What a sweetheart! No, not now, girl! The Chiss connected his computer to my X-wing, how, I don't know and I didn't care. **

******

**As my X-wing joined my mates in orbit, I tapped my COM, connecting to my Chiss wing mate. "Hey, what's your name?" There was static for a moment before he answered, as I kept my eyes locked on my computer scans. **

**~~Valis Q. Palid. ~~ He answered, coming about my left side. Valis, huh? Well welcome to the Rogue Squadron. **

**A moment later, I was shocked to hear Jag's voice over my com. ~~Hey, like the surprise? Figured you needed a new wing mate. ~~**

**"Thanks Jag but now really isn't the time to talk. Sorry, I'm switching you off honey." I scowled to myself, doing just that, expecting a rebuttal but nothing. Valis came over my COM again, "Yes?" **

**~~It'll be better to spread out, the Vong will be confused...~~**

**I nodded, firing my ion cannon covering one of the other pilots as he/she rounded about and reversed course running after the Vong that shot him/her. Strangely, as I fixed on another Vong in front of me, another appeared right behind me, ready to blast me right out of the orbit if it weren't for Valis checking my back. He cornered off to the side, shooting down the yorik coral. I smiled, as he once again came about, taking on speed. **

**A light flashed from my right side. One of the coral vaped one of the Rogue pilots. I closed my eyes, forcing back the tears as I vectored my X-wing in direct path of the ship. Valis' voice cracked over my Com but I didn't answer. I didn't have time to answer. My X-wing wavered in orbit, as I focused to target the yorik coral. It took awhile but I finally managed and shot twice; the first shot took it off balance for a moment but the second shot vaped it. I heard my COM beeping again and I knew it was my Chiss co-pilot. I grudgingly grabbed it, my other hand on my stick. "Valis, what is it?" **

**~~Sticks, my computers have picked up an anomaly up ahead, vector 2.14. Could be a wormhole or something; force field --- I don't know. Stay away from it, whatever it is. ~~ He switched off, as I tripped my scanners, reading the vector Valis claimed to be dangerous. It's not that I didn't trust him, I did, but if my senses were right --- they were right. I fired two torpedoes into the vector and they disappeared. Either the Vong knew about this or not, if they didn't, two points for me! **

**"Valis, the vector you said was dangerous, I have a plan. Rely this information to the other pilots." I rambled, pushed some relay buttons, sending the information through the fleet. Valis beeped me again, so I knew they agreed with the plan. "Get those yorik coral to follow you, but don't get too close to the void or you'll be sucked in yourselves." **

**One of the other pilots, cracked through my COM ~~What if they know the void is there? ~~**

**I huffed, gritting my teeth, "If they knew it was there, they would have stationed three corals behind to guard it." I answered, biting my lip. Or not. There was a chance they did know the void was there, but I was praying they didn't know. "Corner as many yorik coral as you can. It'll be nice if we can pull all of them in together without having to spread things out a bit." **

**~~Copy, Sticks. ~~ **

**I shrugged, focusing on two yorik coral; Valis wasn't too far behind me. In fact, he grabbed the other one, giving me the chance to snag another. If this doesn't work, we're going to have to make a quick run for home. One of the coral snipped Valis' on his side but it wasn't serious. He kept on target, but grew to close to the vector. I grabbed my COM, huffing, "Valis, you're too close to the vector. You need to back off. Copy? Back off; you're too close to the vector!" **

**Static filtered through my COM before Valis was able to respond. ~~Repeat. ~~**

**I rolled my eyes, shooting one more Vong as he was trying to escape. "Back off; you're too close to the vector! Valis, back off or you'll be sucked in by the void!" I glanced out my port view. **

**He was backing off but not before something from one of the Vong ships stretched out and grabbed Valis' wing! It looked to be like an arm extension. I nodded, shooting the midsection of the arm, forcing it to back off and retreat. **

**~~Thanks, Sticks. ~~**

**I nodded, shooting up several of the Vong ships. I might have seemed like a crazy woman but it was working. The coral were backing off towards the void. I bit my lip. Just a little bit closer; just a little bit closer. Perfect. The coral were pulled back by the void; several of them scrambled to escape but realized they were cornered and let the void suck them up. One by one, they disappeared off the scopes. **

**I glanced behind me; Valis was at the back, between two other X-wings. The last one fired randomly before vanishing, probably not even caring where the shot ended up. As far as I knew, it streaked past hitting virtually nothing but space. **

**I smiled and relaxed, hearing the many cheers over the COM. It was over.... Almost over. Someone connected to my COM; I tapped it, expecting some other pilots' congratulations for the idea but what came next, was totally unexpected. **

**~~Sticks.... Been hit. Need medical assistance...Jagged Fel. ~~ **

**NEXT**


	7. Forever (CH16)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_16**

**Forever**

**By Obi's Girl **

**Author's Note: This has to be the longest entry of Jaina's Journal, and most dramatic – over all, it's a huge tearjerker. Enjoy J **

**~~I turned, a strand of sweaty of hair stuck to my cheeks and forehead. I gasped, staring at him. My mouth was practically open and gaping back, unable to comprehend. There he was, Jagged Fel, dressed, in an officers' suit or was it one? I wasn't really sure. He was dressed up nicely, almost like gentlemen but the thin shirt he wore almost revealed his tight muscles. Oh no, Jainy! Don't even think about.   
  
"Jag, what, uh, is something wrong - I mean what are you doing here?" I asked, practically falling over myself.   
  
He walked closer, eyeing me, trying to see if he could size me down but it didn't work. He didn't intimidate me, but I still felt he was here to see me for a reason. He stopped, facing me and brushing the sweat off my forehead and sides.   
  
"I was training, sir. Jedi exercises and sorry, I forgot. We're equals."   
  
Jag nodded, met my eyes and kissed me softly without saying a word to respond to my answer. Only, there was no question. He didn't say anything. He just showed up, interrupted my exercises to kiss me...a kiss that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I relaxed a bit, my arms crawling around his back as his slithered onto mine. He pulled away suddenly and smiled.   
  
"I always wanted to do that." He whispered. ~~**

******

**~~I nodded, touching the runway slightly. It was a bit bumpy, but then again, landing any type of craft was never easy. And I was nervous. Not only because I didn't want to mess up, but get distracted by this beautiful man steering me home. He was an excellent teacher. I might have to reward him later for that. I thought with a grin on my face.   
  
"Hold it, Sticks. You're starting to come in too steep!" he cried. ~~  
  
****

**~~ "Practice. Practice is good." I replied, staring back at him.   
  
"It is good." He replied, nearing me. My eyelids fluttered as his lips touched mine. He tried to pull me into an embrace but the pit was small, so all he could do was take my hands in his. He jerked back a bit, and then kissed me harder and harder. ~~**

******

**~~Jag smiled up at me as I checked his bandages from the blast. They were still in tact but in case we were needed again, I used a Jedi healing trance, helping the wound cover up faster. Tionne had taught me how to do that when I was younger, before the war happened – I'm just sorry I couldn't prevent Jag from getting hurt. I was able to heal it a little bit so it wouldn't sting as much when he walked. "Feel better?" **

**"A little, but not that's where it hurts anymore." **

**I raised an eyebrow at him but decided to play along anyway and smiled. "Where does it hurt then?" **

**He pointed to his right brow and I kissed it. Next, he gestured to his cheek and I gladly obliged. Last, his lips hurt the most. I kissed him fiercely but was careful to mind his wound. "Hmm. I needed that." **

**I laughed, "I think we both needed that." ~~**

******

**~~Forever. ~~**

**I blinked back to reality, looking out my view port. Two X-wings had already escorted Jag back to base; a couple more I assumed docked and one, probably Valis' stayed behind until I ready. Except how can I be ready? Jag... I thought the coral's shot didn't hit anything except space. I felt the hot tears in my eyes as I brought my X-wing about, returning with Valis to the bay. **

******

**Coming in, I struggled to remain calm despite this horrid feeling inside of me as I docked my x-wing. I ignored the pilots come to congratulate me and immediately went to one of the flight attendants. "Excuse me, sir, Jagged Fe1...The pilot that was shot..." **

**He nodded, "He's in the med. Bay." And returned to his work. I felt my face go pale, my limbs seemed to tense more – the last time something happened to Jag, he came out fine with just a scratch but this was serious, very serious. I turned around, Valis was at my side. I nodded as he steered me towards the door and down towards the med. Bay. **

******

**I fought with myself not to cry or panic as I stood waiting while Valis talked to the doctor on call. I had to remain strong but how long can I stay strong before breaking down in total fear? My fear and dark emotions only got worse when Wedge rushed into the bay. I tried to look busy but he knew I was only trying not to cry. He walked over and smiled as he always did; I smiled back, fidgeting before I hugged him tight. **

**"Wedge, I swear I didn't know Jag was hit. I saw the coral fire, but I didn't think it hit anything except space..." **

**He nodded, frowning, "No one's blaming you, Sticks." Wedge smiled again, raising his chin, "Jag will get through this; he's a fighter. If there's anything he's learned from you and growing up Chiss, it's to survive at whatever cost." **

**"Whatever cost." I echoed, sitting down, removing my dog tag, and playing with the ring Jag gave me and smiled hopefully. "When I accepted, I told Jag there are no tomorrow's; we won't know what will happen months from now or if we'll even survive the war...Sithspawn, I really wish that was true." I looked down, staring at the two stick figures holding hands and the sun above them, "If he dies, how can I deal with that? I don't know how to feel; from the cockpit in my X-wing to sitting right here, all I feel is numb." **

**Wedge shrugged, "Maybe that's a good thing; your feelings won't be jumbled up or confused." **

**I nodded, glancing up as one of the nurses came out and talked with Valis. Wedge and I stood up, confronting the nurse. She could have been about my age, maybe two or five years older. "He's stable for the moment, but he's in a coma. We don't know how it will last --- um, when he was brought in, he kept mumbling some one's name or at least a nickname. Anybody here called 'Sticks'?" **

**I looked back at Wedge. He nodded it was all right and I slowly raised my hand, smiling partially, "I'm Sticks. Jaina Solo." I paused, finding my voice, "Can I see him?" **

**The nurse shrugged and smiled, "I think maybe you should; if you don't mind me asking, who is he to you?" **

**I gazed up at the woman and nodded, "I'm his fiancée." And I walked inside, not looking back.**

**~~"Did you mean what you said before? That I'm you're future?" **

**Jag smiled, kissing me passionately. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring, causing me to worry a bit. "If we get through this war, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" ~~**

******

**I had been through hurt and heart break before; I knew the pain but whatever I felt then, was nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Jag laying helplessly on the bed, eyes closed and breathing through a tube with some minors burns and bruises. Sithspawn, why did this happen? I wanted to crush those Vong for hurting him, but it wasn't them. It was I. I was so wrapped up in the moment, I blocked out whatever else was going on. I didn't even feel his emotions; I just blocked everything out. **

**I grabbed a chair and sat down; entwining my hand with his left and smiled hopefully. I even squeezed hoping if I squeezed hard enough, he would wake up. It didn't happen. I bit my lip, forcing back my emotions. Now wasn't the time to start acting like a girl. I had to be strong...for him. **

**"Jag..." My voice was hoarse, I didn't even recognize it. "Jag, I don't know if you can hear me --- it's Sticks. I'm here, and I have something to say to you, so many things." I looked down, matching his hand with mine, "The first time around, you weren't badly injured; I could deal with it but this, I can't deal anymore. Jag, I can't lose you. I need you. You were the first...before I met you, I gave up on love. I didn't want to feel; you didn't feel either. The Chiss in you, but I love that part of you." **

**I cleared my throat and kissed his hand, laughing, "You know you can't die on me. You proposed and I accepted --- Jag, I want us to be together, not only for me; for your Uncle. You're the only connection to his sister and her family. There's so much you have to live for but most of all, live for me. Please." I kissed his hand again, as his other twitched. I saw the twitch and nearly fell out of my chair as I called the nurse. **

**Two nurses and a man ran into the room; Wedge and Valis not far behind. I backed away from the bed as the nurses started checking his vitals. I bit my lip again, preying this was for real. The nurses were distracted, checking everything they didn't even see him open his eyes. I choked back a breath of air as our eyes locked together. He saw me; I know he did because he smiled. **

**The nurses backed away once again as I walked to the bed and grasped his hand. He smiled at me again, trying to speak, "Live...for me." With that, he closed his eyes. I nodded furiously as I glanced at his vitals. They were low, very low. I felt the pain rushing back, as the nurses tried to revive him. **

**Hot tears streamed down my face, though I didn't know it. I glanced back at Wedge; he looked away, crying as Valis held his head low in accordance. **

**~~Jag looked down at the ring in his hand, scrutinized it before handing it to me. I looked at him, confused a bit. "Keep it then. Keep it with you while you think, and look foreword towards the future, Sticks. The future is all we have." He then removed my dog tag necklace and slid the ring on it. "Just don't keep me waiting forever." **

**I smiled, kissing his cheek, looking at the silver ring. It had some markings on it. They looked like hieroglyphs. I rested my head on his shoulder, examining the ring. "It's beautiful. What does it mean? The hieroglyphs?" **

**He pointed to a couple of them and smiled, "This one means forever..." next he pointed to two stick people, holding hands, accented by a sun above their heads. "Forever soul mates, bonded by time and love. A love that will last forever." ~~**

**I nodded my head furiously, reached over him and breathed air into his lungs. Moments, later several nurses and the main doctor rushed into the room and pushed me aside as they tried to revive Jag. I clenched my fists, as I felt Wedge's hand on my right shoulder for support. This couldn't happen. Our lives were just beginning; we had a life – we're going to have a life together. How can the Force be so cruel to take Jag away from me? Sithspawn, it wasn't fair! **

**After some time, the nurses were finally able to increase his breathing though his eyes still weren't open. I wanted to see his eyes, his dark eyes and feel he was alive because I begged him to live. I want him to live; if he doesn't I don't know what I'll do. He was my life, my whole life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him; grow old; have children and grand children with him. I wanted everything; I wanted him. And it was killing me there was no such response that he was all right. **

**~~"Did you mean what you said before? That I'm you're future?" **

**Jag smiled, kissing me passionately. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring, causing me to worry a bit. "If we get through this war, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" ~~**

**We didn't go through all those bad times, all those trials if we weren't meant to be together, Jag. I need you in life because you are my life. I love you so much. I want to give you everything; don't take that away from me. Don't run away from me, your Uncle and the family you left behind. **

**I glanced behind me; Wedge was leaning back on the wall and the nurses...They had left to allow Jag to rest, but one of them stayed in case there was another emergency. I smiled thanks to her as I neared the bed again and grasped his right hand and kissed it. I felt the faint life inside of him. He was still weak barely hanging on but he stayed...for me. **

**I stayed. I stayed so long, Wedge had to turn in and go home (and tell my family where I was in case they were wandering). It didn't matter to me as long as I stayed with Jag and made sure he was going to pull out from the coma. However long, I wouldn't leave him. I love him too much to betray him like that. We were engaged after all and as far as I was concerned, I already considered myself his wife. I wasn't Jaina Solo anymore. I was Jaina Fel, wife of Jagged Fel. **

**Unfortunately, the doctors had to kick me out because they needed to monitor his vitals and brain activity (and one of the nurses also persuaded me to be with my family and that I needed them, even though I wanted to be there incase he woke up). **

******

**I took the nurses' advice and went to see my family (my Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara). I didn't want to talk to my parents or siblings. Luke must have sensed I was coming because the door opened because I even COM'd it. I smiled, hugging him as I walked inside the small apartment. I smiled weakly at my aunt Mara and sat down on the couch, staring up at the wall and nodded, "I really didn't know the missile hit Jag until I was COM'd. I thought it just hit space. Sithspawn, I wish it hit only space!" **

**Luke nodded, sitting down next to me, "It wasn't your fault, Jaina. It was an accident." He paused, biting his lip, "Does Wedge blame you?" **

**"He said it was an accident too but it is my fault. I know it is. I should have sensed he was hurt; I was so caught up in vaping those coral skippers, I closed myself out from feeling anything else. Jag's hurt because I tuned him out and now, he's hurt!" **

**"Jag is an excellent pilot. He was careful; you all have to be careful when you're out there ---." Mara started, sitting down on the opposite armchair. "In this war, no one knows what to expect. No one knows what casualties there will be until it's too late. But no matter what, you have to remember none of this is your fault. The Vong came here; they invaded our galaxy without asking for an invitation." She paused, reasoning, "If there's anyone you should blame, it shouldn't be yourself. It should be the Vong." **

**The Jedi Master tensed up, sensing the tone of his wife. He knew Mara was resentful of the Vong for giving her the disease that was incurable for any medical means. But it still worried him, especially with a little one on the way. I huffed, fingering my necklace and ring.**

**~~Forever. ~~**

**I glanced up at the both of them and removed my dog tag.... and the ring. "Jag, he gave this to me." I started, referring to the silver ring. "I don't have to explain what it is; I think you both know – chances are you probably know about the announcement Jag made to the Rogue Squadron. I accepted. We were – if we survived the war, we would get married and have a life together." I paused, choking back tears as I stood up and paced about, "I want to have that life, but I can't if --- it shouldn't be like this!" **

**Luke picked up the ring and examined it, looking particularly at the two stick figures and the sun above the two – only it wasn't a sun. It was a heart with two rings around, crossing horizontally. In that moment, the Jedi Master saw Jag and I standing across from each other, holding hands as an officiator lead us in our vows. He smiled, glancing back at Mara and I. She held me as I cried on her shoulder. "He's not going to die, Jaina." **

**I looked incredulously at him, my face still wet from tears, "You haven't seen him, Uncle Luke. He had bruises – he was weak." I nodded; I couldn't even talk about his condition it hurt so much. "Did you have a vision?" **

**"I did," he started, kneeling before me and smiled, "And you know what I saw? I saw you standing happily across from Jag, as the two of you were married. You were so beautiful, Jaina. The warmth and love --- it was shining so brightly it could have blinded me. Jag, won't die. He won't die because he wants to have that life with you, and he wouldn't leave you." **

**I huffed, leaning back, "I really want to believe that but now, I don't know what to believe." At that moment, my COM link hummed. I groaned, picking it up, praying it wasn't another attack. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with more Vong. They already caused enough damage. "Yes? Lieutenant Solo here." **

**~~Sticks? It's Valis. You need to get down here – they're a slight change in Jag's condition. ~~**

**Change? Was that a good change or a bad change? Frankly, I wanted it to be good change but since when did I things I wanted to go my way, ever did. "I'll be right there. Thanks Valis." Luke and Mara raised an eyebrow as I stood up, straightening my flight vest, "A present from Jag. My new wing-man; he's a Chiss and a good pilot." Luke nodded, hugging me one last time before I left; hoping it was a good change Valis was talking about. **

**NEXT**


	8. Possibilties (CH17)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_17**

**Possibilities**

**By obi's girl **

**Mara rolled her eyes, grabbing a cup of water. She loved Luke dearly but in her opinion, it was wrong of him to put my hopes up that Jag might actually survive. The Vong, they can be brutal and life and death, was not something to be toyed with. Luke saw her irritation and frowned, fidgeting. "I didn't say that to toy with Jaina's mind, Mara. I said it to give her hope, and right now, we all need a little hope." **

**She turned to him, holding the cup in her right hand, crossing her arms, "I know you would never say anything to hurt Jaina, Luke. She loves him a lot. It tore my heart to hear that Jag proposed to her and, depending if he survives or not, they might not have that future." Mara shrugged, "Jaina doesn't need that grief. It can weigh heavily on a person, especially if she believes he's in that coma because she was careless." **

**"But she wasn't careless. She formulated a plan, carried it out and it worked." Luke reasoned, crossing his legs, leaning back against the wall. **

**Mara raised an eyebrow and sighed, "I guess it will be never-ending." **

**Luke frowned, "What's never-ending?" **

**She walked over to him, put down the cup and hugged him, "The repeat of history; the pain, the hurt – a beautiful romance turned into tragedy. It will never change. It took a war to bring Jaina and Jag together and now, there may never be a tomorrow for them." **

**"...Except there will be a tomorrow, Mara. I know what I saw in my vision. Jag WILL survive. I wouldn't have had if it was wrong." **

**"I know, but it was only a possible future, Luke. Nothing's definite, which means it, could change. Jag may not survive and if that does happen, it will crush Jaina." She reasoned, bracing him closer, "I just don't want to see her hurt anymore than she needs to be. We've all been through a lot; but them – they're future is everything. Jacen, Anakin, Jaina --- they can have a future if the Force will only let them." **

**Luke smiled, kissing her cheek, "They will. Trust me." **

**Mara laughed, hearing the slyness in his voice. Same farm boy. Same innocent voice, but even that didn't soothe her worries. **

******

**As I walked back inside the med. Center, I told myself not to panic. There was no need to panic. It could be good news, or bad news, or worse! No, don't panic. Think good thoughts. Jag the future you'll have together. Future? If there was a future. No, don't go there! He'll be fine. He'll be fine. I huffed, confronting Valis and Wedge, who had rejoined him. Ooh, that wasn't good or maybe it was. Maybe Wedge was there because Jag came out of the coma. Of course, there was also the other scenario where this was a 'good bye'. No. It wasn't that. I couldn't be. Could it? **

**"What happened?" I mused, unable to look in Wedge's direction. Whatever the outcome, I didn't want Wedge to blame me. I already felt like bantha fodder. **

**Valis nodded, "He's conscious; able to speak a little bit but not a lot." He leaned forward and smiled, "And he wants to talk to you." **

**Talk to me? Now, that was the best news I've heard all day. Of course, I would talk to him. Valis went to sit down as I hugged Wedge before going in. Jag was playing with his dog tag as I came in. I knocked the door. He looked up at me and smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. And his eyes, they seemed so full of energy. If it ever came up, and he proposed again, I would accept immediately (might even insist we get married on the spot). I pulled up a chair on his left side and smiled, kissing his cheek. "How are you feeling?" **

**"A bit groggy." He frowned, taking my left hand in his and squeezed it, "I'm sorry I scared you like that..." **

**I nodded, "There's no need to apologize, Jag. It was an accident." I paused, looking down, "besides, it was my fault." His eyebrow's furrowed as I continued, "I executed the plan; I blocked out everything else around me – including you. I believed we were invincible and we weren't. You were hurt because of my carelessness." **

**Jag shook his head, rubbing my hand, "It wasn't you're fault, Sticks. It was a great plan and it worked. By now, those yorik coral are probably half way across the galaxy by now, and away from innocents. You did good. You should be proud of yourself. I am." **

**"Probably but I still can't shake this feeling, it's not over. I mean, that there's more. Like why that wormhole was right there when we needed it and how did it get there? Was it fabricated by the Vong or had it been there all along and we just didn't know about it?" **

**He shrugged, "I don't know. It could be – Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jag smiled, tugging me closer, "I was thinking. The announcement we – I mean I made earlier, it really wasn't official. Chances are the HoloNet haven't reported on it yet...Why don't we make it official? After I get out here, how about if we have a family dinner, Wedge included in the mix and announce it together?" **

**I smiled, kissing him, "I like the way you think Jagged Fel. I'd have to recall Jacen to Coruscant from Yavin 4 but I don't think that will be a problem, and hey, maybe your mother and siblings can come and meet their legendary uncle." **

**Jag frowned slightly, but not too much. "Mom would love with see Wedge again; they had been apart for so long...It would answer some questions about why she left to begin with and cut off all contact with the Republic. I never really asked her because she never liked to talk about it." **

**"We don't have to push her; but I would like to meet my future mother-in-law and brother-in-laws, or sisters." I piped. I kissed him again, "I am so lucky to have you, Jag. I went to see my Luke and Mara. I told them about us – I was totally freaked. But Luke, he had a vision that we would have a future. I wanted to believe him." **

**"What did he see?" **

**I shrugged, smiling mischievously, "Our wedding." **

**Jag smiled, drawing me closer, "Well, he wouldn't be far off. I definitely see you in my future, Jaina Solo." **

**"A vision?" **

**He nodded, "No, intuition." And kissed me. **

**NEXT**


	9. The Engagement (CH18)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_18**

**"The Engagement" **

**By obi's girl **

**Summary: The Journal Entry everyone's been waiting for – the official engagement of Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel! **

**I'm engaged! I'm engaged to Jagged Fel! Jag did announce we were engaged earlier on, but it was only to hurt Zekk. I said it to hurt Zekk but this time, this time it was for real. I just hoped it wasn't all over the HoloNet before I actually have the chance to tell my family. They shouldn't have to hear it from the news, rather than from me. Jag will be released tomorrow, so we'll talk to them then. **

**I scratched my forehead, walking into the briefing room when the lights turned on before I even reached them and was surprised by the Squadron, Tycho, Gavin, Wedge and the other pilots, Chiss and human. Valis was among the Chiss, an even smile on his face. I bit my lip, smiling weakly. "What is this?" **

**Wedge shrugged, hugging me, "A surprise engagement party. Welcome to my family." I glanced worriedly at Valis. This wasn't the time --- it was wonderful and thoughtful but I wanted Luke, Mara, my brothers and parents here. "Where's Jag?" **

**"He's going to be released tomorrow, tomorrow, when we're going to tell the whole family." I mused, trying not to sound angry and ungrateful. **

**Gavin nodded, "We won't say a word about the engagement, Sticks." **

**"Thank you," I replied, plopping down on a chair, hiding my face in my arms. Wedge saw I was exhausted; he nodded to Gavin and he chauffeured the pilots out, Valis included. **

**He sat down on my left and smiled, "What's wrong, Jaina? You seem a bit..." **

**I looked up, swaying my head slightly, "A little." I stood up, pacing about the room before leaning my back on the wall, "I am happy to be engaged to Jag. I was shocked when he first proposed. I knew we were in love – when the shot accidentally hit his x-wing, I freaked. I thought it was the end; Uncle Luke said I shouldn't feel guilty – my plan worked but it shouldn't have put Jag's life on the line." I huffed, crossing my arms, "When Zekk was here and tried to interfere with our relationship – he wanted to get me back, and Jag saw the letter he left for me on my COM pad outside my quarters...It scares me this feeling inside." **

**Wedge stood up and braced my shoulders, "It shouldn't scare you, Jaina. It's a good feeling." **

**"I know, but there are consequences. We're in the middle of a war – anything can happen." **

**He raised his chin, "Nothing will happen." Wedge paused, smiling, "I don't know if you know this, but remember in the Sims, before you met Jag, he seemed to pick on you exclusively?" I nodded. "Before going up against all the pilots, he checked their profiles to see who was the best and most unique. He saw your name and saw that you were a Jedi Knight; he also thought you were cute and he knew." **

**I shrugged, "Knew what?" **

**"Knew that you were special." Wedge shifted his weight to his other leg, "You deserve this, Jaina." **

**I smiled, hugging Wedge, "Thank you, Wedge, or should I start calling you Uncle Wedge?" **

**He laughed, mouthing the title, and shrugged, "Why not? I've always considered myself part of your family, anyway." **

******

**~~ Day 2 ~~**

**Family? That sort of thing is usually associated with marriage; I would love to have a daughter or son. Correction, Jag would love a son; I would love a daughter. Still, before anything can happen, I have to wait until Jag will be released so we could talk to my family and tell them about the engagement. I glanced at the chrono on the wall. It wouldn't be long until he was released. **

**Jag, when I saw him before, he said it wasn't my fault. I wanted to believe him but I still can't help but feel somewhat responsible. It was my actions that got him hurt in the first place; I was careless I know I was. But I think Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke were right – it was the Vong's fault. It was a Vong yorik coral that made the shot that hit Jag's X-wing, but still...I should have been looking out for him. It shouldn't have happened. They shouldn't have come here. No one invited them. **

**"Am I interrupting you?" a voice asked from the doorway of my apartment. I gazed up squinting slightly. I had dimmed the room. He stepped closer and ordered some of the lights on. I smiled, running into his arms, crying furiously. Jag held me tight, patting my back, "Hey, it's okay. I'm fine, really." **

**I backed away, wiping my tears away, "A few minutes ago you weren't. It scared me..." I started, pacing about, "And it reminded me how vulnerable we really are." **

**He nodded, "I thought we agreed it wasn't your fault?" **

**I turned to him and sighed, "I won't deny I feel somewhat responsible for what happened; I do – I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. You're so special to me you have no idea. I love you so much; it scared me when you're hurt." **

**Jag braced my arms and smiled. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, "You know I don't blame you, Sticks, for what happened. No one does. But I understand how you feel. In war, there aren't a lot of certainties." He paused, shifting his weight, "Let me put it this way, you didn't fire the shot that my X-wing. The Vong did. It was the Vong that invaded the galaxy without permission and enslaved several core planets. Whatever tiny accident that happens here, is nothing compared to the damage they've created." He raised his right hand and stroked my cheek like a child, "Feel any better?" **

**"A little, and you're right. It was the Vong that fired that shot. Not me," I smiled, wrapping my arms around and kissed him, "How about we deal with that engagement now?" **

**He shrugged, kissing my forehead again. "Now, you're talking." Jag extended his arm to me and I took it, as he led me out. **

******

**It took some time gathering everybody together in the Pilot's Lounge, but when we finally did, I was more than ready to make the announcement myself. Wedge, Gavin and Typho Celchu came in together. Typho nodded to Luke and hugged the Jedi Master. Gavin nodded to me before sitting down; Wedge walked over to us and hugged Jag, winked at me and joined Gavin. **

**Everybody was there, except my two brothers. Anakin and Jacen were still needed on Yavin. Luke and Mara offered to give them a ride over, but the Solo brothers decided to stay on Yavin to keep order amongst Kyp's faction and their Uncles. **

**Well, at least they're trying to help. I glanced at Jag; he nodded and I stepped forward. Since he announced our engagement last time, he figured it was only fair for me to have a shot at it too. **

**"Thank you all for coming. I, um – I don't know if you all have been listening to the Holo Net; they may or may have not reported on this already, I don't know." I glanced back at Jag; he only smiled, urging me on. **

**"I – a day ago, something horrible happened. Jag, I thought – when he was hit, my mind was reeling. I didn't want to accept death as an option because it is NEVER an option, but life is." Before I could continue, the doors leading to the lounge opened. **

**Anakin walked in and while I was expecting Jacen not to be far behind, what I saw, I was definitely not expecting my brother kissing Danni Quee! Okay, that is totally unfair Jace! This is my party; I'm the center of attention – not you! Jacen stopped and smiled at every body else, quietly walking inside, Danni holding his hand. She smiled at every one as the two of them sat down next to Anakin. **

**I rolled my eyes, slightly pissed off. Slightly isn't even the word for it. If there weren't any witnesses, I would drag my older brother out of the lounge and lecture him and yell at him so hard; he'd wish he hadn't shown up unexpectedly. Calm down, girl. This is yours and Jag's day. **

**"Anyway, like I was saying, we've been through a lot and in times like these, it's always good to have some one to lean on." Forget the speech; just get to the point before they start ignore you! "Jag proposed to me two days ago. I was reluctant at first because there were a lot of factors to consider but after thinking it over, and thinking about the many ways on how to phrase my name as a married woman, I said yes!" **

**Jag stood up, from leaning against the bar and hugged me from behind. "And in case she didn't mention, this is the engagement party." **

**Everybody laughed. I turned to Jag and kissed him before several of my family members stepped up to congratulate us. Luke hugged me, smiling, "I told you everything would be all right." He hugged Jag, and then went to talk to Wedge and Gavin. **

**Next came my parents. Mom was too much in tears to say anything. She just hugged me as dad rolled his eyes, nodding to Jag, "Take care of her, Jag. The last thing you want is to deal with her brothers, and me." He extended his hand to the young man. Jag took it, smiling back at him. I nodded to him as the moved on as I met both my brothers. Jacen was first, followed closely by Danni. **

**I hugged Jacen; he smiled, "One day, when you look back on this day, it's going to be a very funny story..." I let go, planting my fists on my waist, tapping my finger. He frowned, "Or not. Congratulations, Jaina. And Jag, I've watched the of you two flirt with each other from the very beginning – glad to see it paid off." **

**I'm glad too, Jacen. **

**NEXT**


	10. Come What May (CH19)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_19**

**"Come What May" **

**By obi's girl **

**I smiled thanks to every one as they left but pulled Jacen to the side as he started to slip out the door. He nodded to Danni and she head out. Jag kissed my cheek and made himself scarce, knowing I wanted to know what happened that brought Jacen and Danni together. "What happened? I mean, the last time you were here, as far as I knew, you and Danni weren't together. You weren't even close." Jacen smiled mischievously, shoving his hands into his pants' pockets and strode over to the window. "Jacen?" **

**He turned back to me, the sheepish grin still on his face, "You know the pond at the back of the Temple? When I got back to Yavin, Danni and I talked, really talked. Conversational, philosophical stuff. I told her about my visit with you, and she told me how she was dealing her 'new life-style' as a Jedi." **

**I rolled my eyes, "Get to the point, Jace!" **

**"She was rambling on and on, I leaned over and kissed her. I figured it was the only way to shut her up...and she kissed back." Jace's smile broadened and for a moment, I saw the 'Solo' flare. The same flare our father possessed when he first started to flirt with our mother. He was a scoundrel. **

**"So what? Are you guys dating or something?" I know it was a stupid question, but if they continued to make spectacle of their relationship like this, all the attention would be off Jag and I. Well, maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing. We would have more privacy but if they came to the wedding, making out, I was going to stomp down from my place at the altar and beat the Sith out of him! **

**He shrugged, musing, "I guess." Jace turned back to me, kissed my cheek and left the lounge. **

******

**I met up with Jag, talking to Wedge at his office. I didn't say anything about Jacen. I still liked the spotlight on Jag and I. Wedge gestured I sit down. He stood and opened a drawer on the side of his desk and removed a bottle and three glasses. I glanced at Jag. He shrugged but nodded to humor him. "Jaina, I've always considered myself part of your family. I've known Luke for a long time but now, I 'really' get to be part of the family." He poured the first two glasses. He smiled, "Don't worry. It's not alcoholic." **

**I took the glass, as he gave the second to Jag and poured himself one and continued, "How are you two going to plan this?" **

**I shrugged, "Obviously, we're not going to get married right away." **

**He frowned, raising an eyebrow, "Why not? You're in love, right?" **

**Jag smiled, bracing my shoulders, "We are. With the war and everything, nothing should be rushed. I want Sticks to look beautiful when I have to stand across from her." **

**I blushed, taking a sip. It was Corellian wine. The bubbles tickled my nose and Wedge was right; it wasn't alcoholic. "Besides, we want every one to be there. Your sister and Jag's brothers' – we hope." Wedge's frown deepened and I mentally scolded myself for mentioning her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to ---." **

**"I know you didn't, Jaina. The possibility, that she might come – I know it's impossible." **

**Jag cut him off, putting down his glass. "It isn't impossible, Uncle. Before I came here, she told me if she could, she would go to Coruscant and see you. Nothing is keeping her on Chiss. She's just been scared to come here and see you. She's been scared that you might be angry with her." **

**Wedge laughed, "I could never be angry with your mother, Jag." He raised his glass again, "Whether she comes or not, it will still be a beautiful wedding and you can guarantee, every Squadron pilot – Chiss and human will be there, and your family of course, Jaina. Come What May." **

**I smiled as both Jag and I clicked out glasses' with Wedge. "Come What May." We cried. **

******

**Come What May. I like the sound of that. I mean, after all the heartbreak I had been through over the years, I had basically given up on love, true love. Jag was true love. I will love him until my dying day. Forget the war, and the annoying Vong, as long as Jag is in my life, everything is perfect. Come What May. I smiled to myself, walking into the sim room. It had been three weeks since our engagement and everyone could see how happy I was. I wore Jag's ring proudly, and occasionally fingered it when I was bored. **

**I sat down at the observation table. Wedge smiled back at me as he reviewed a progress report. "You know, you don't have to come in if you don't want to. I mean, don't you have a wedding to plan?" He winked at me and I smiled, laughing. **

**"I know I do. Actually, I was wondering about something. The location, should it be here on Coruscant or on Yavin 4?" **

**He shrugged, "That's up to you and Jag. Knowing him, he might want it on Chiss. I don't know." Wedge picked up a mug and took a sip from it, nodding, "Haven't you two talked about that? You've had three weeks, what have you been doing?" **

**I blushed, "Stealing time." **

**Wedge smiled, knowing my meaning, as his fingers tapped the sides of the mug. "I see. You really should discuss it. Location is a big issue." **

**I shrugged, "There are a lot of things about marriage that's a big issue. What should be priority? Should it be location, what the dress will be, the food..." **

**Wedge leaned forward and rested his hand on mine and smiled. "Take a week off, Sticks. I think you have a lot of things to think about. Talk to Jag. Where's he been anyway? I haven't seen him in three weeks." **

**"I haven't either. In fact, I came here, hoping you had seen him. I tried to talk to Valis but he didn't know either." **

**"Maybe he's planning something special for you." The older man shrugged, "You brought the romantic side out of him, you know, besides the human part." **

**I smiled to myself, musing, "And getting the human side out wasn't easy." Before we could talk some more, my COMlink buzzed. I picked it up, half-heartedly, "Yes? Jaina Solo." **

**~~Hey Sticks. Can I see you for a minute? ~~ **

**"Jag, where are you? Where have you been?" **

**He laughed, ~~I'm in the mess hall. I promise I'll explain everything once you get down here. Sticks, please? ~~**

**I rolled my eyes and smiled. Wedge perked up, realizing who was on the other end. "Fine. I'll be there and you better explain to me what you've been up to for three weeks." **

**~~Oh, I will. ~~ And he switched off. **

**I glanced at Wedge and he shrugged, "He's your fiancée. I'm only his Uncle. I have no idea what he has planned, but I'm sure whatever Jag has planned, you're going to have a wonderful evening." **

**I nodded, stood up and walked out of the sim room as I bumped into a young woman with black hair. She smiled and walked on into the simulator, as I head to the lounge to see my fiancée. **

******

**The woman casually walked into the sim room, scanning over the various pilots until her eyes rested on a lone man sitting at a table, drinking some caf and reading over a progress report. She sighed, walked over, biting her lip as she approached him. The last time she had seen him, they were children and now, almost a decade later, there they were again. She cleared her throat, "Excuse me. Are you Wedge Antilles?" **

**Wedge gazed up at the woman. He almost didn't even recognize her. It had been so many years, but he couldn't dispute the resemblance. She looked exactly like his mother when she was alive. She was speechless, biting her lower lip again, "I didn't mean to interrupt you, Commander --- I, uh, it's been a long time." **

**He stood up, leaned over and hugged the woman. She smiled, "It's good to see you, Syal." Wedge let go and smiled back at her. He had so many questions; so much he wanted to say to her. **

**"Soontir and I had been keeping in touch with each other, since he left Chiss to look for Jag. Where is he?" Syal explained. **

**Wedge frowned momentarily, "You don't know then?" **

**She shrugged, "Know what? Wedge, what is it?" **

**Before he could reply, the Baron arrived. He saw Wedge and Syal together and smiled, walking casually over to the two. "Hello, sweetheart." He bent over and kissed her cheek, smiling at Wedge. "Happy to see your sister, Wedge?" **

**Syal smiled, "Wedge was about to tell me something about Jag." **

**The two men exchanged glances, glares it seemed like, arguing on whether to tell her some secret. Wedge won. "Um, tell you that – do you know about the Skywalker-Solo family?" **

**"Of course, I do. I've been keeping track of everything while I've been gone. Chiss still gets the HoloNet. What about them?" **

******

**I scowled, walking into the dark lounge. Whatever Jag had planned, I honestly didn't want to hurt myself before I got to him. I thought about igniting my lightsaber but remembered weapons aren't allowed in the mess hall. I glanced around, my hand fumbling the switch. I hadn't even touched it when the lights turned on automatically, and in the center of the room, was Jag with a dinner-picnic and wine. I smiled, walked over and kissed him before looking around at the food he had prepared. "What is all this?" **

**He shrugged, "I figured it had been a long time since we had actually been on a date. And the first time, it wasn't the best, well, the first part anyway. This is to make up for that." **

**Jag leaned down and kissed me again. "Hmm. I was wandering what you were up too. Now, I know." I mused, sitting down on the blanket. **

**"It was difficult. I had to get approval from the mess hall cook, time off from the squadron, cooks to help me, decorators – it wasn't easy but I managed. I wanted tonight to be perfect." **

**I frowned slightly, taking a bite of some food, "And our first date wasn't?" **

**"The first part of the first date; the second part was great. I enjoyed giving you a flight lesson in the cockpit of an X-wing." He paused, smiling, "especially in such closed quarters." **

**I blushed, "Ya know, I was thinking about the wedding, where should we have it? I mean we have lots of options. We could have it on Coruscant, Yavin 4 or on Chiss." **

**Jag shrugged, "Doesn't matter." I frowned again, and he smiled, "Doesn't matter as long I'm standing across from you on the altar, and you become Mrs. Jaina Solo-Fel." **

**"You're sweet, but it matters. Thing of it is – I don't want it to be a big wedding; friends and family is fine. No senators, reporters and stuff; especially the Senators. I don't want my wedding to be the grounds for a political battle." Jag smiled at me again. "What?" **

**"Our wedding. It is your wedding, but it's our wedding, Sticks." He paused, "but you're right. It should be private; only family and friends. No public." Jag's eyes narrowed, "Oh by the way, I talked to my dad and he told me, my mom might be able to come. She may already be here." **

**I froze, "Syal here? I mean, I want her here – Wedge wants her here. Are you sure he heard right? Of course, he probably heard right." Jag raised an eyebrow and I calmed down, "And I'll stop babbling now." **

**He shrugged, "It's only a possibility. I would love for her to be here too, and for you to meet your future brother-in-laws." **

**"Sounds like a plan." I mused, as my hand slipped on top of Jag's. **

**NEXT**


	11. Family (CH20)

**Jaina's Journal_Entry_20**

**"Family" **

**By obi's girl **

**Syal looked back at Soontir, expecting him to explain what was going on. Wedge was about to say something else but Valis entered the sim room, greeted several of the pilots and walked over. He nodded to Wedge and Soontir, standing in between the two. Syal perked up a little bit when she recognized the young Chiss, "Valis, is that you?" **

**Wedge frowned, looking confused then smiled, "Don't tell me Valis was your spy while you were on Chiss?" **

**The Chiss pilot nodded, "Of course, I wasn't. Jag asked me to come, so I did. We go way back. Syal, what are you doing here?" **

**She shrugged, "I don't really know why I'm here but I had this urge to be here. Does that make any sense?" **

**Wedge laughed, "It does, you have no idea." **

**"Hmm. So what was it you were going to say, Wedge?" she asked but had to be stopped again when Jag and I entered, laughing. Jag almost froze when he saw his mom. Of course, I had no idea whom this woman was because I had never met Syal Antilles before. **

**I shook Jag, trying to contain my laughter as he finally came back to reality. I looked back at me, pulling me forward towards the group. I smiled hello at Wedge, Valis and Soontir but frowned when I saw the woman. I saw her before. I bumped into her in the hall; I didn't really take recognition of her before but now, something told me, I should have. What surprised me even more was when Jag hugged the woman and kissed her cheek. I felt like a complete idiot, I had no idea whom this woman but when she kissed Soontir it came to me! Syal Antilles. Oh Sithspawn! **

**But to be sure, I figured I'd ask before making myself look like an idiot. If she were Syal Antilles, this woman would be my future mother-in-law. "Um, excuse me – who are you?" **

**She smiled, "Syal Antilles, Wedge's sister. Your name?" **

**I couldn't even form words looking at the woman that was Jag's mother and Wedge's lost sister. I bumped into her in the hallway, running off to meet with her son. I laughed to myself, seeing my older self tell how I originally met Syal Antilles – almost knocking her over to meet with her son, my fiancée, Jagged Fel! It was a very funny prospect. But I couldn't help myself. I laughed anyway, causing her to frown and Jag to look confused and hurt. "I'm sorry, Jag – it's just we already met." I added, between laughs and trying to breathe. **

**"How can that be? As far as I know, you never met before this ---." Jag started but Syal started to laugh as well, remembering our brief encounter in the hallway. "Mom?" **

**"Jag, she's right. We met already. She was running out of the sim room and we bumped into each other but thought nothing of it." Syal explained, stifling back some more laughs. **

**Wedge laughed as well, "Well, I guess there's no need for introductions ---." **

**I waved my hand no, "She said we bumped into each other Wedge. She didn't say we said, 'hello, who are you?'" I formally extended my hand to Syal, after catching my breath. "Jaina Solo...Lieutenant." **

**She took my hand graciously, remembering something else. "You aren't by any chance related to Han Solo are you?" **

**"Yeah, he's my father. You've heard of our family?" I asked, though not really surprised. The Solo-Skywalker name was already legendary before my brothers and I was born. We're really just one extra branch to our extensive family tree. **

**"Oh yes. Even on Chiss, I still manage to keep track of what's happening here. This place, it was my home for a time before I had to leave." **

**Suddenly Wedge became quiet but Jag smiled, hugging my shoulder. "Mom, there's something you should know – Lieutenant Solo and I, well, we're engaged!" Syal looked at her brother and he nodded yes, grinning. She looked at her husband then back at her son and I. I didn't need to read her emotions to know she was shocked and overwhelmed. I saw it in her face. "Mom, aren't you going to congratulate us?" Jag glanced at me and I lowered my eyes, falling silent. **

**"Mrs. Antilles...?" I asked. "Are you okay?" **

**She smiled hopefully, "You caught me totally off guard, Jag. Of course, I'm happy for you." Hugging him. I smiled, glancing at Wedge. "When did you two get engaged, better question, how long has this romance been going on?" **

**I laughed again, settling down at the table. "From the start? Well, I beat him in a sparring match. Pinned him on the ground and told him, 'we're equals, no more competitions'. But your son, he's kinda stubborn when it comes to who's the stronger sex." **

**"I'm stubborn?" Jag question, placing his fists on his waist, "I think the word you're looking for is competitive, Sticks." He smiled at Syal, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I still don't know how good you are during flight sims..." **

**I nodded my head, "Ah huh, Jag. Let me spare you the humiliation, 'cause I tell you right now, I would kick your butt!" I glanced at Syal and she laughed, "Well, I would." I mused. **

**"I know you would, Jaina." Wedge laughed, "Um..." He started to say something but nodded to Syal. I smiled back, understanding. **

**They really didn't have a proper reunion before Jag and I decided to stop by and say hello. I nodded to Jag we leave. He smiled good-bye at Syal and Wedge, following me out of the sim room. Soontir smiled and kissed his wife before leaving himself, mumbling something about having a meeting with some one or some important person. **

**Syal was quiet a moment, not really sure what to say to her brother. It had been a long time, really long time. She smiled, remembering going over the scenario of meeting Wedge after so many years and what she would tell him, but now, she didn't really know what to say to him. **

**Wedge scratched his head, leaning back on the wall, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Why don't we get out of here and talk in private?" **

**She nodded all right and followed her brother out of the sim room. On the way, she occasionally glanced at him and smiled though she was still timid and shy. Wedge led her to his office and gestured she sit down. Syal smiled thanks and took a seat, her eyes wandering around the office. There wasn't even a picture frame of his family, or her family rather. **

**Wedge sighed, sitting down on his desk chair, "How have you been?"**

**"I have a family, don't I?" Syal paused a moment, frowning slightly, "Look Wedge, I'm sorry I left before you even got a chance to know me but it was my dream to be a singer, or entertainer of some sort...I was young – I didn't know any better." Syal looked down frowning, "You probably hate me for leaving; I wouldn't blame you." **

**"Syal, you're departure hurt me, but I don't hate you and I don't blame you. You're family, and in the past, I've learned family is the most important thing in the universe." Wedge smiled, "And now you'll get the chance to be a part of one of the most legendary families in the galaxy." She laughed, nodding to the empty walls and desk. He smiled, "I have this office on loan. I have some stuff in my quarters here on Coruscant but I'm been too busy to actually grab them and lay them out."**

**Syal nodded, smiling, "What's your family like, Wedge? I imagine I have some nephews and nieces to meet." **

**He shrugged, "Oh you do. They're not here right now but they'll be here once the wedding date gets closer. I actually named my daughter after you." **

**She nodded, looking away briefly, crying. Wedge frowned, abruptly sitting up and placing his hand on hers. "I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I know you said you don't blame me for leaving, but I just feel so horrible about leaving. You never even had the chance to get to know me, and I left. I'm so sorry, Wedge." **

**Wedge stood up and knelt down next to her, smiling, "I'm not a mean person, Syal, but I am your brother and forbid to blame yourself for something like this..." **

**Syal nodded, standing up, "I left you Wedge! Be angry with me! Yell at me! Please. It's the only way I'll feel better..." **

**"I won't. I won't because I'm grateful you're here and the last thing I want is to drive you away again." He mused. "I won't tell you it was a mistake that you left or that you were insensitive. It was your choice and from the looks of things, you were happy. You had a son, a family, a life – I won't condone you for that." **

**She laughed lightly, looking at him, "Ya know, they always asked about you, when they were younger. They wanted to know everything about their legendary Uncle...and Jag, believe it or not, he actually knew about Jaina before he met her." Wedge frowned but she continued, "Before the war, there had already been stories about the Solo twins and he thought Jaina was pretty. He had a crush on her then, and now they're engaged...It's unbelievable." **

**Wedge looked down, "It's unbelievable you're here." He paused, "I'm sorry but can you stay awhile? I mean, can you stay here after the wedding or will you go back to Chiss?" **

**"I don't really know, but why don't we take it one step at a time." Syal advised and for a moment, Wedge saw their mother in her eyes. **

**NEXT **


End file.
